“So, God, if you won’t kill them, kill me! I’m better off dead!”

God said, “What do you have to be angry about?” (Jonah 4:3-6 MSG)

Have you ever been so angry that you wanted God to kill someone or kill you?
 
Jonah's anger. In the story of Jonah, he was so angry, he spouted off some pretty foul words to God, “So, God, if you won’t kill them, kill me! I’m better off dead!” Even though Jonah had just experience God’s deliverance from death, he was begging to die.

God responded, ‘What do you have to be angry about?’” Once again, God offered Jonah another chance to do the right thing.

Maybe you can’t relate to Jonah’s words and emotions, but I sure can. And I think I’m in good company.

Elijah's fear. I remember another servant of God who sat under a broom tree and prayed to die because he was so frustrated. As Elijah ran for his own life, he cried out to God. “Enough of this, God! Take my life—I’m ready to join my ancestors in the grave!” (1 Kings 19:4 MSG)

I never really understood why Elijah asked God to kill him. If he really wanted to die, he could just stop running and let his enemies do the job for him. But like Jonah and Elijah, we often don’t make much sense when our emotions are out of control.

Inside Elijah’s hiding place, the Lord asked him, “So Elijah, what are you doing here?” (1 Kings 19:9)

Then, after Elijah poured out all his frustrations to the Lord, God gave him new direction—another chance.

God's forgiveness. I’ve been just like Jonah—angry at God for asking me to offer forgiveness to others, especially if I’d witnessed the effects of their ungodly deeds. Also, if I’d heard someone wanted to kill me, I know that I’d be afraid like Elijah. In fact, I have gone into hiding many times. And I’ve said some pretty ridiculous statements in my anger—nothing makes a lot of sense when my emotions get out of control.

Yet, like Jonah and Elijah, when I look into the mirror of God’s Word, His Word penetrates me with heart-rending truth and questions. “So (Karen), what are you doing here?” “What do you have to be angry about?”

In that intimate place of conviction and confession—admitting my own anger, fear, and unforgiveness—I discover God’s love, guidance, and forgiveness.

So (…), what are you doing here? What do you have to be angry about?”

Photo/KarenJordan